I can't believe it has been a month since my last post. They say no news is good news! I will say it hasn't been easy but we are in a much better place than we were a month ago. In fact, I've started this post at least four times. Each time I erased what was previously written and begin again because each week was a little better than the one before.
Even in a better place, Mia has nights she is up with nightmares and spasms and is hard to resettle. The remaining catheter causes much discomfort and anxiety. Thankfully, this last catheter comes out June 4th. We cannot wait!!! We think once that is out, Mia will move forward and be less anxious about her belly. There will be no more tubes taped to her body and she will be able to take baths again, lay on her belly, run without worrying about pulling the tube and so much more. This means Dave and I can also let go of some anxiety! I can't wait to be able to hug her close without worrying about her tube!
Mia has adjusted very well to cathing thanks to some wonderful nurses, phenomenal support from school and Mia's amazing strength and acceptance. Dave and I have also adjusted to cathing. Once Mia's anxiety decreased ours followed suit. I think it's safe to say that when you are comfortable enough to cath in the car, you have reached a new level of acceptance and performance.
We have begun to celebrate once again with friends and family! We are ready to begin our new chapter.
The older kids have resumed play dates and sleepovers and are mostly well adjusted to our new norm. We still are working a few things out, mostly with Nick. He says our family balance is not right because of the nurses. Keep in mind, the nurses only come 3 evenings from 3:30-7 so that I can attend Nick's track meets and run errands. Nick is literally home for about an hour, two max, when they are here. Samantha, on the other hand, loves having them and so do Gab and Mia. Samantha said they are so nice and she likes when they are here. Gab and Mia count down the days until they come! We told Nick this is only temporary. We will be done with nursing the second week in July.
This roller coaster was a tough one to ride but we didn't fall off! We are all still here. Still hanging on. Still loving each day God has given us.
Thankful to be in a better place, we continually pray for friends back at the Ronald McDonald House who continue to struggle. Our prayer is that they too can move to a better place along their journey. One thing is for sure, this experience has left me questioning my faith more than ever. I have seen kids endure so much pain and suffering that it is very difficult to accept this as God's plan. Not only was it difficult to watch Mia's suffering, but to witness child after child suffer in ways no one should have to. Imagine a two year old whose side effects from cancer treatment are so severe that his skin cracks, bleeds, weeps and his eyes are sewn shut in order to avoid infection and hopefully save his vision. In addition, they partially paralyzed his body in order to allow it to rest while healing. A sixteen year old, healthy and athletic, contracts a virus and in a matter of two days loses his heart. He is being kept alive by an artificial, mechanical heart and needs to remain until a heart becomes available (could be two weeks, could be two years, could be more). The stories are numerous! It's an entire hospital full of children fighting through illness, injury, disease, and surgery. A whole house full of families able to find smiles though the pain. I do see God's work in the generous volunteers, the love of all who share a common theme and the smiles of so many children who find beauty and joy among pain and suffering. These are the things that fill my mind as we count our blessings and move forward in our journey... happy to be in a better place...wishing for so many others to be here with us.