Sunday, February 17, 2013

Fear of the Unknown

Kindergarten registration...complete! A night of bawling my eyes out...complete! Pit at the bottom of my stomach....continuous!

Are kids really apprehensive about entering kindergarten? Or is it parents projecting their own fears onto them? The girls are oblivious as to what kindergarten means. It's my mind that can't stop thinking about what lies ahead. The bus. The cafeteria. Core Curriculum expectations. Making new friends. In addition, this will be the first time our kids will go to a district school. The halls seem SO big. Of course, Mia is a peanut so she already looks swallowed up.

There are the "normal" fears of your child starting kindergarten and then the fears that come with sending your child with a disability to kindergarten. As I think of how far Mia has come, I also think of all the challenges that she will face in her new school year. She will need a five point harness for the bus, assistance with stairs, balance supervision especially when  there are a lot of students around her and when she is on the playground and in P.E. class. Mia still wears pull-ups and needs assistance in the bathroom. I can't even imagine what help she may need in a cafeteria! In the classroom, Mia needs a great amount of redirection to attend to tasks. She fatigues quickly and gives up easily when tasks become difficult. This is only the beginning of the list!

Can you feel my anxiety? This comes with all the unknowns! Given Mia's challenges, will the girls ride the same bus? Go to the same school? Will the district continue to approve a 1:1 aide for Mia?  How much related services will she receive? Will they recommend inclusion or self-contained?

Then, there is Gabriella. She is going to be devastated when she finds she is not going to be with Mia! When we registered she said, "Mom, we are going to be so scared when we go to kindergarten. I will sit next to Mia so she won't be afraid." I thought I was going to lose it right then!

Here is my head...??...**...??...**...??...**! Of course, that is what moms do best, worry. I will feel better when there is a plan in place. "Better" being the operative word! I cannot wait until our meeting is scheduled and complete. Until then, I will try to keep my mind from spinning out of control!

On a happier note, here are my big girls!!!!